Heterosexual couples: Nature's greatest practical joke?
The other day I was forced to witness a guy and a girl shamelessly flaunting their Godful lifestyle and making out in front of me, and it got me thinking: aside from their mutual desire for each other's genitalia, what binds these two people together?
I know I am not the first person to note that men and women are very different: I won't belabor too much the point that while women like to surround themselves with pretty (but perhaps useless) things, men pretty much like to destroy them. This is why I think it is hilarious that Nature forces these two very different creatures to be physically attracted to each other, and to eventually get married and live together for the rest of their lives (or until they get a divorce). I mean, they should by all means mate and keep the race going, of course; but after that, why don't men just go back to their caves to play Halo all night, and women just go back to their nicely-decorated homes to paint rooms with made-up colors such as "chartreuse" and "taupe"?
Now, I realize that, like they say in Italian: "Il cuore non si commanda" (which, loosely translated, means "Rafa is a pretentious prick"). You may say that Love (capitalized for greater pompousness) is the thing that unites men and women, but it seems to me that Love has the cards stacked against it from the get-go if men's idea of fun is watching white trash NASCAR drivers ride ad-festooned cars in a circle over and over and over, and women's is watching a movie where everyone dies so she can have herself a good cry and then take a jojoba-scented bubble bath.
I am not saying homosexual couples have it made, of course: there are always many differences even between people of the same gender. However, I would say that, in general, between people of the same gender there will tend to be more agreement in terms of mindset, priorities, and what is considered fun (although I'm quite sure many gay men are no strangers to the cry-fest followed by a bubble bath).
So, what say you? Does coming from entirely different points of view strengthen heterosexual relationships, or are they further proof that God has a sense of humor (as exemplified by the existence of the platypus, and Him putting our balls on the outside)?
I know I am not the first person to note that men and women are very different: I won't belabor too much the point that while women like to surround themselves with pretty (but perhaps useless) things, men pretty much like to destroy them. This is why I think it is hilarious that Nature forces these two very different creatures to be physically attracted to each other, and to eventually get married and live together for the rest of their lives (or until they get a divorce). I mean, they should by all means mate and keep the race going, of course; but after that, why don't men just go back to their caves to play Halo all night, and women just go back to their nicely-decorated homes to paint rooms with made-up colors such as "chartreuse" and "taupe"?
Now, I realize that, like they say in Italian: "Il cuore non si commanda" (which, loosely translated, means "Rafa is a pretentious prick"). You may say that Love (capitalized for greater pompousness) is the thing that unites men and women, but it seems to me that Love has the cards stacked against it from the get-go if men's idea of fun is watching white trash NASCAR drivers ride ad-festooned cars in a circle over and over and over, and women's is watching a movie where everyone dies so she can have herself a good cry and then take a jojoba-scented bubble bath.
I am not saying homosexual couples have it made, of course: there are always many differences even between people of the same gender. However, I would say that, in general, between people of the same gender there will tend to be more agreement in terms of mindset, priorities, and what is considered fun (although I'm quite sure many gay men are no strangers to the cry-fest followed by a bubble bath).
So, what say you? Does coming from entirely different points of view strengthen heterosexual relationships, or are they further proof that God has a sense of humor (as exemplified by the existence of the platypus, and Him putting our balls on the outside)?
posted by El Rata | 8:52 AM
4 Comments:
I loved the part that read "Rafa is a pretentious prick" :p
Did you have to look up how to spell Chartreuse? I would have. I'd also have to look up what color it is, but since I don't care, I won't.
I think it's easier to understand hetero relations if you remember that it's only been a few hundred years since women were considered people. Women belonged to their father and then their husband. If you can't own property, there's no nicely-decorated home to go back to.
Children were also an important part of the family labor pool in less industrial societies, and you would certainly want to have someone to raise, as well as cook and clean up after your little workers. By the time you grew bored with eachothers genetalia, and the kids grew up and moved on, you'd still have someone to cook and clean for you. While romance has been around forever, the idea that love is a required part of a marriage is still up for debate in some circles.
I think it's a tough time for couples all around. It's been like a thousand years since homosexual unions were fashionable. (there's even evidence that the Catholic church did same-sex ceremonies centuries before they started doing them for heterosexuals). For the straight people... In the last 20-30 years women have even been given the legal right to say no to sex with their husband. As marriage has changed from a simple property transaction to relationship between equals based on love - well, it's totally gay (kind of ironic huh?)
Things that make you go hmmm... Most divorces are initiated by the wife within a few years of the children moving out.
Angelica, your comments were (as usual) quite insightful (I say this partly because I do believe that you could kick my ass if you so chose). ;-)
Yes, I am engaging in stereotypes, mostly for comedic purposes (I shamelessly wanted to work in the words "chartreuse" and "jojoba"), and partly because in this particular case, they tend to be right more often than not generally speaking (I am glad in your particular case they are not true, though: this just makes you even cooler). :-)
Haven't you met, though, many couples (think parents or grand-parents) that have seemingly nothing in common? My parents have been married (happily, as far as I know) for over 30 years, and they recently renewed their vows this year. I love them both dearly and want them to stay together, of course, but for the life of me, I don't see what they have in common (other than us kids) to have kept them together for so long! They more or less fall in the stereotypical behaviors I mentioned, and yet they're still together... I wonder what their secret is! :-)
Rob, I also liked the part where I said I was a pretentious prick (self-deprecation is an art). ;-) I actually did not have to look up how to spell "chartreuse," which come to think of it, is rather disturbing.
Hopefully one day the notion that homosexual couples cannot be legally married will be as foreign to us as the notion that marriage is a "business transaction."
Anonymous, thanks for the wedding showers post! Oh my God, you must have read my mind! If I ever need my blog spammed again, I will surely come to you! ;-)
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