I wants me some human meat!

I heard somewhere that a poll of cannibal tribes (and please don't ask me whom you have to piss off to get the job of "Cannibal Tribe Pollster") revealed that human flesh tastes most similar to pork (I would have guessed "chicken," if only for comedic effect, but oh well).

Could this be true? Is that why once a wild animal tastes human flesh it has to be killed, because it always tries to eat more humans? I'm sorry, but I've had ham and bacon, and if we humans taste anything close to bacon, I not only perfectly understand these animals, I must confess I'm kinda curious to try me some human meat!

"Oh, Rafa," you might say, "that's disgusting! How dare you say you'd eat another human being!" Ok, first of all, who the hell are you, and how are you writing directly to my blog?! Second, I never said I'd eat another human being: that's way too much meat for me; I just wanna try me a slice! Plus, I'm on a diet, and judging from the average American, I would get a coronary if I ate an entire human being. So no. Not so much.

Also, I'm sure if I could convince you that the person the meat came from was a total asshole, or at the very least, occassionally rude, your mind would be at ease and you wouldn't feel so bad about your wanton, Godless flesh-eating.

Finally, two words: Atkins Friendly. Need I say more?